Sunday, September 2, 2012

Sex Therapy - Sexual Problems - I Don't Have a Sexual question Or Do I?

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As a sex therapist I have sometimes felt like a someone with a contagious disease. People often come to be defensive in my proximity and act as if they are trying to prove that they are sexually confident, sexually mature, and quite savvy. Men and women with unavoidable relationship as well as sexual problems will sometimes giggle, look at me askance and standing at arms length, exclaim, "I don't have a sexual problem."

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Here are some typical explanations offered by commonplace men and women who may be denying that they have a question that could maybe be helped by working with a sex therapist.

I don't have a sexual question and I really do not need to see a sex therapist. I've had a succession of long term love relationships. I've even lived with a few of my partners, and none of them has ever complained about our sex life together. Well, maybe sometimes they were a bit upset, but only after we had been together for awhile and I had lost my initial level of desire. But then, I never lost my desire totally; I just started seeing at others until I found someone new and exciting. Okay, sometimes - maybe often - I got into a new sexual liaison while I was still complex in a committed relationship with my current partner. But what do you expect? There are so many ready men and women out there to pick from, and staying with the same someone inevitably becomes boring and monotonous, doesn't it?

I don't need sex therapy. Sex is not all that foremost to me. I know my disinterest sometimes bothers my partner, but we really do love each other. My partner just has to accept the fact that I'm not that sexual. Sex is such a small part of our relationship, anyway. We have so much in coarse and we're really best friends. Okay, when my partner really wants it, I sometimes have to give in and pretend to enjoy it. But it's usually over with speedily and I administrate to avoid my partner's overtures for days or even weeks afterward, so I don't mind that we sometimes have to do it. But the truth is, if we never had to be sexually intimate together again, that would be just fine for me.

I don't have a sexual problem, my partner does. She has so much problem getting aroused. She is very rarely in the mood and when she says she's ready to have sex, her body is obviously not that responsive. She doesn't enjoy oral sex and she sometimes seems angry by my touch. It wasn't that way when we were first dating and I had other girlfriend. At that time, she would dress up in sexy lingerie, talk sexy on the phone to get me all hot and bothered, and even touch me under the table in a restaurant. Now she seems practically totally disinterested in sex.

I don't have a question enjoying sex. It's just that my partner wants sex all the time - and I have so many things I have to do. Ever since we had our children, I get up really early, I do all my morning household chores (and my husband doesn't help much). I drop the children at their school, and then I head for work. When I get home, I clean up some of the mess the children have made, I get evening meal ready, I help the children with their homework, I get them ready for bed, and then I do some work that I was not able to complete during the day. By the time I get into bed, I'm exhausted. How can my husband expect me to feel sexual? He starts touching me and I have to find excuses so that I don't hurt his feelings, but my body is just saying, "No."

I don't need a sex therapist. Our sex life is just fine. Every time we have other fight, screaming and insulting each other, we get into bed and have other appealing sexual encounter. But lately, our raging battles have come to be a bit more bodily and I am afraid that one of us might cross the line and really hurt the other one. For us, our sexuality has been a band aid to help overcome some of our frustration, anger, blurring and transportation problems.

All of the above scenarios are coarse problems that can be helped in sex therapy. A mighty sex therapist does not just focus on sexual issues, sexual exercises or overcoming sexual dysfunctions. The role of a sex therapist is to help an private or a concentrate to overcome relationship problems, transportation distortions, faulty relationship skills, and unavoidable unconscious beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that may be interfering with creating true intimacy with a popular partner. If both People in a relationship no longer desire sexual caress with each other, and both feel okay about it, then for that concentrate maybe sexuality is not an issue or a problem. However, if there is a desire discrepancy (one partner desiring more intimate caress than the other partner) or a relationship question that is affecting sexual relax and sexual expression, then sex therapy may furnish the solution.

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